Wednesday, 18 May 2016

Horse riding how will I cope?

I hold my breath. My legs feel petrified. Why are there butterflies in my stomach? I've never liked the way it feels, but now they squirm and flutter making my nerves get the better of me.

As we drive up the never ending driveway, the tingling of the gravel pops up on the windows. We're making progress far too fast for me to face my fears. What's my chance of survival? The only thing that crosses my mind is “oh dear we're nearly there”. My stomach flips and flops in uneven circles while My blood drains cold like a river of blood. I cling to the car. I gaze out the window agitated. Immediately an idea tramples through my mind, am I gonna die? The tenseness finally comes to me as we get closer and closer. The silence is daunting. Tears roll down my cheeks. The horses could trample us. Really my mind screams, have they all gone bonkers?

The jolting of the car howls in pain as it screeches to a halt. I can’t feel my legs. They won't move. They feel like steel. Now it hits me, paralysation. I shuffle to the car door. The world holds still. The answer finally comes to me, I’m not alone when I feel scared. I take one step. I feel tiny. I try and take a breath. When will I feel the warmth of my family once again? It races through my mind. I can't shrink, I'm small enough as it is! Feeling the relief as I see, hear the horses nickering in welcoming. The horses coax me to come closer. It's like I'm in a trance with their eyes. Do they know about being petrified? Then I feel the thought dawn on my shoulders. Will I actually survive?

I hold my breath, it's time to face my fears.

……………………………………………………………………………………...

Writing reflection 

I was learning to write an emotion, so I could improve on my writing, so that I could appeal my senses because I wanted to make my emotions stronger, than I have ever written them before. I also knew that I had to structure my writing to make sure they were in paragraphs, which involved chunking my ideas, because I'm not so good at that yet, for example I usually write my story's like a big large blob. My goal was to make a satisfying hook because to make my reader want to read more, this is one of the secrets to writing. One of my massive struggles was to put it into present tense, like I walk instead of I walked because I had it all over the place. Something which was extremely frustrating was all the small commas, which then comes round to capital letters, that equal up to the full stops, and so much more. I used some simple sentences, so the reader could catch up because some of my sentences were rather complexed. I think it went we'll because I learnt something new, for example what is so special with commas like we're they go.  My next steps are to make sure I put punctuation as I write. Over all I am proud of my piece of writing.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Lily. I love this piece of writing because not just because of the fact it brings back memories from when I first rode a horse, but also the language you used. Words like paralysation and 'I shuffle to the car door'. This is a great piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete

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